Billy Childish: Time Traveller and Artist
We all know that the Chatham artist - Wild Billy Childish - is a force for good. He has not buckled to commercial forces, he lives life in the correct manner, and his non-conformist attitude can only be admired. But there are those who say he is stuck in the past, and though Wild Billy is beyond the Stuckists, there may be truth in the rumour that Wild Bill is even more stuck than previously thought. It seems he has discovered a time machine, and that the mischievous paint dauber has been tinkering with the time lines.
The following testimonies have come to light.
Frenchman, Armand Roulin claimed that he met Dutch artist, Vincent Van Gogh, and an English artist who called himself Wild Billy Childish. They met in a pub in Chatham Kent, in August 1888. He claimed that Van Gogh painted his portrait, but that Wild Billy stole his hat and coat. Billy Childish has always denied this and is contantly reminding people that he was born in 1959, claiming that this is some kind of an alibi.
Colonel Frederick Gustavus Burnaby
Colonel Frederick Gustavus Burnaby stated in 1870 that the French artist, Jacques Joseph Tissot and his friend, Wild Billy Childish, got him drunk, and stole his tunic in a brothel in Paris. This happened during the siege of that year. But Wild Billy claimed that he wasn't even in Paris during the siege, and that he was writing poetry with his pal, Authur Rimbauld.
The Father of Otto Dix
In 1921, the father of the famous German artist, Otto Dix, claimed that the notorious English artist, Wild Billy Childish, stole his collection of collarless shirts and shaved his off moustache for his own use. Wild Billy maintains that in1921 he was minus 38 years and was not capable of growing a moustache nor stealing shirts.
Or is This the Case?
Or could it be that Poor Billy was himself the victim, and the three rascals - Armand Roulin, Colonel Frederick Gustavus Burnaby, and the father of Otto Dix - have waylaid Wild Billy, and left him in the 19th century, whilst they masquerading as he, are taking it in turns to live his life!
We shall never know truth, but I myself will always remain suspicious, because I work for KrycoVision, and KrycoVision is contributing to Paranoia!
FRITZ & TOMMY
THE BALLBAG PAPERS