The Mind Reader News
News real and invented from around the world!
*****
Tuesday, August 10, 2010 - 07:05
The Rivals of Medway
Tempers flared last night when it was discovered that Dan Campbell and Stuart Buck – two Medway film makers – were putting to celluloid the famous battles between Chatham and Strood. The film - The Rivals of Medway – is a tale of drugs, revenge and dysfunction, and has angered both the Strood Poetical Society and the thuggery re-enactment group, The Tattooed Fist. Both groups are livid and have threatened dire consequences if the film is released.
“We ain't 'aving it,” said Simon Stench-bowel of the Tattooed Fist. “Re-enactments is our gig, and we ain't 'aving a load o' namby-pamby, orange-tanned margarita drinking luvvies strutting around the Pentagon in black leather jackets and acting all 'ard! I mean... wha'd'they know about the intricacies of a good old fashioned Strood and Chatham dust-up? Too busy waxing their backs, sacks and cracks to pay any attention to the nuances of the correct skinhead regalia circa 1972!”
The Strood Poetical Society are also angry, though less vocal than Mr. Stench-bowel. They merely pointed to the restraining-chair that they use for forced recitals.
Billy Childish was unavailable for comment because we couldn't to be arsed to ask him.
For those interested in Messrs Campell's and Buck's cinematic project, details can be found at the following website.
Hula Fuq Cares
------
Wednesday, October 14, 2009 (All day)
Sexton Ming Scared of Chav Women
The Strood Poetical Society has received news that Sexton Ming, the poet, painter and failed intellectual, has, in an attempt to legitimise his artistic credentials, published a series of manifestos that layout in no uncertain terms his thoughts, feelings and ideas. Though the SPS are mainly sympathetic with Ming's views, they are disappointed that he has committed them to paper and nailed them to the toilet door. His gesture will only encourage the L-13 lunatics of Clerknewell to jump on the band wagon. The Chavs Women's Institute have declined to comment.
Ming's manifestos can be found here.
Hula Fuq Cares
******
Tuesday, October 13, 2009 (All day)
The Mind Reader Controversy Rages On
Though the government firmly denies it, we now have irrefutable proof that the UK authorities are responsible for a series of Mind Reader experiments. Harry Tickler, a well respected investigative journalist, was intrigued when Colonel Gaddafi's recent denunciation of the the world political order included a demand that the Mind Reader be banned! His investigations led him to a recent riot in Rugby, and of course, to the infamous Mind Reader graffiti in the Medway towns. I have often wondered as the reasons behind the graffiti but Harry Tickler seems to uncovered them. And few of us of a certain age have not forgotten that incident a few years ago when the afflicted people of Chatham were seen to be coughing up strings of silk scarves. The amplified power of stage conjurers it seems.
To find out more about the strange incident that left Chatham littered with top hats, white rabbits and silk hankies, go to the Sleeze and read Harry Tickler's full account.
Now we know the truth!
Hula Fuq Cares
******
Thursday, September 3, 2009 (All day)
Spelling Fascist Attacks Illiterate Editor
Lisa Dillon, hard-woman and enforcer for the sinister surveillance group, Medway Eyes, has come down hard on Mogass Date, the editor for this website. Noticing that his spelling was not British Standard, and that the integrity of the Medway Eyes logo had been compromised, she came down to these offices with a pair of bolt croppers and can of blue paint. She left fifteen minutes later having made her point.(With a sharp implement) She did not accept the excuse that the lettering had been sub-contracted out to Mr. Billy Childish. Mogass Date has agreed to make good the error. He is very sorry.
Hula Fuq Cares
******
Sunday, August 30, 2009 (All day)
Pictures at an Exhibition
Lupen Crook - and the Mrs - have recently shown a few pictures at an exhibition. We went to look at them. Some of them are very good. Some of them remind us of Joe Machine and Tom of Finland. Some of them remind us of the great shit-house artists of Chatham Dockyard. Some of them are ...?
well - Mogass Date went to see for himself. Find out here.
Hula Fuq Cares
******
