One of the most sinister organisations to come to our notice is the L-13 Light Industrial Workshop. L-13 masquerade as a revolutionary art group and on first investigation that is exactly what they seem to be. They certainly talk the talk and produce propaganda that is consistent with their avowed aims. The leaders of this group - and they make no effort to hide themselves - are a bunch of ageing punk rockers and ne'er-do-wells. That certainly qualifies them as the barkers of their propaganda. We do not hold this against them, and in fact agree with many of their proclamations. The unfortunate thing is, that L-13 are not genuine. L-13, the Light Industrial Workshop, is not a force for good. They are a conspiratorial group who's intentions are not yet known.

We list the following facts:

• The Light Industrial Workshop was bombed by the Kaiser in 1915. L-13 was the Zeppelin airship that dropped the bomb. Why did the Kaiser target this workshop? Was it because he knew what was coming? Did the Kaiser hate Billy's paintings that badly?
   
• Why do L-13 print the stamps of mass destruction?
   
• It is a well known fact that the last good picture was painted in 1852. So why do L-13 insist on trying? They've not succeeded yet.
   
• Two members of the L-13 group are familiar with the 'Ban the Mind Reader Graffiti'. Yet they make no proclamations as to whether they support such a ban.
   
• L-13 are based in Cleckenwell. I once had a bad experience in Clerkenwell.
   
• The L-13 group are rewriting history. Already they speak of artists who are ,'sometimes known as...' Will these artists then become, 'formerly known as', and then, 'never known as'?
   
• The artists Billy Childish and Sexton Ming are being converted into the loathsome creatures, Bill Hamper and Anthony Waghorne.
   

The L-13 Conspiracy

The facts listed above prove bad intentions and wrong doing, but getting to the bottom of their filthy conspiracy is proving to be difficult. Further investigations at first blinded us. The red herrings so carefully laid, led us to investigate the L-13 hub and satellite websites. We were drawn in by KLF involvement and suspected that the cinders of a burnt million pounds may be financing the operation. We were astounded at the implications of a Chatham and Clerkenwell Soviet. This was obviously meant to provoke the Strood Poetical Society into kicking a few Chatham artist arses - and Clerkenwell ones too!

A KLF Conspiracy

Then we saw - or thought we saw - the raison d'être of this group. The two members who know anything about the 'Ban The Mind Reader' graffiti are distancing themselves from their old persona. Billy Childish is claiming to be a Mr. William Hamper and Sexton Ming is becoming a wig-less Anthony Waghorne. This cannot be a coincidence and we suspect that Messrs Hamper and Waghorne will soon deny the existence of the graffiti at all. But we are ready for them. We know that such a statement is a smokescreen and that the true intentions of L-13 are not Mind Reader based at all. Their true purpose is even more sinister.

The L-13 Banksy Scandal

Discarding the onion skins of deceit - entertaining though they are - we find their true purpose. L-13 and its KLF connection are a front to promote the works of the street artist, Banky. It is probable that they actually are Banksy. The ruse is clever.

The L-13 collective go out in the dead of night and paint stencilled art all over the world. To disguise their identity, they ditch their crappy styles and paint some really good pictures, using stencils. Nobody would think that they, the bitter men of punk, are the perpetrators. The identity of Banksy is kept anonymous. The work becomes popular. Then comes the clever bit. L-13 set up a series of hate sites and launch vitriolic attacks at their own creation. The gullible public - and all art fans are gullible - then rush off and buy L-13 soviet style pamphlets. The coffers of L-13 get bigger, until, when a million pounds has been made, the devious James Cauty nicks the lot, takes it to a wood and set lights to it, leaving Billy Childish and Sexton Ming to be skint as usual!

And the plan will have been achieved.

The Strood Poetical Society Stand Down - for the time being

The Strood poetical Society do not approve of pretentious art groups but have decided not to take any action for the time being. Their poetical rottweiler will not be released. But we look upon you with disdain.

Hula Fuq Cares